Dillon De Leon Bernal's Arrival.

Today my son turns one month old.

Before I write a post about how the month has been, I need to rewind and write about the last few months of my pregnancy before I forget.

I am very thankful to God that my pregnancy and delivery was very smooth.  My friends and family had all been so supportive and caring for my well-being, I wouldn't have been able to go through those last few months without them.

At my 39 week check-up with my OB/GYN she had suggested we "strip the membrane" to jump start the labor process.  I had read everything about pregnancy and for some reason, skimmed over what this was?!

Everyone kept saying that Dillon was going to arrive past his expected due date, (February 3rd,)  so to prevent that from happening, I agreed to having the membrane stripped, assuming it would make him on time.  I didn't know it would cause me to have my water break within 24 HOURS!

January 27th sometime around 3:00PM was when I went to the OB/GY's office. On January 28th at 5:00AM when Richie's alarm went off to get ready for work, I started having contractions.  There is a VERY distinct difference from the real contractions and Braxton Hicks.  Braxton Hicks...it's sporadic and very random.  The level of pain towards those last few weeks is moreso various levels of discomfort.  Contractions is more rhythmic and similar to menstrual cramps, something I hadn't experienced in a VERY long time, so I *knew* something was up.

By 5:30AM my contractions were definitely 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long. I was planning to count them for 1 hour, because "5-1-1" is when they say you need to call the hospital.  But 30 minutes had passed and I had to jump out of bed because I could FEEL my water breaking!  I was able to kick Richie out of the bathroom (sorry, TMI) just in time to have my water break.  Called the hospital, and they said "Take a shower, have breakfast, freshen up, and get here whenever you can." (nothing like the movies)...so I did just that.  It was all very leisurely and calm. On a scale level of 1-10, my pain was at a 0.5-1...

My friends and I had a code when the time came.  I was to text them, "The panda is on the loose!"  When I was headed to the hospital, but it was so early in the morning the text messages were moreso:

Me: "The Panda is on the Roof!"
Joanna: "The roof?"
Me: "Isn't it roof?  Oh damn, loose! The panda is on the loose!...aw hell, I mean I'm headed to the hospital."

lol...anyway, I went to the hospital and pain was definitely getting up there.  Gradually and slowly, like a needle that just kept growing and digging deep.  I was admitted to the hospital because I ruptured, but I wasn't in labor yet (which I didn't even know was possible!)  I wasn't even 2cm dialated...and you need to be 10cm...he was no where near ready!

I was admitted at about 6:30AM-7:00AM.  I kept asking when I could get the epidural and my OB said "When you stop smiling."  Ugh...The contractions were so weird.  They would last for about an hour long, for a moment I would get the chance to relax, and then it was as if someone punched me below the abdomen more and more.  By noontime they gave me painkillers to "take the edge off."  But by 6:00PM my pain level was definitely at an 8-9, and I was fed up!  It was time for the drugs!  I had tried to last it out for as long as I could,  slept some of it off, walked it off, even took a bath in warm water to ease the cramping, but it became so unbearable.

By the time I got the epidural, I was 5cm dilated and at the...+2 station I believe? (oh, gosh I'm already forgetting things...the stations are how far down he's going and the scale is -4,-3,-2,-1,0,1,2,3,4)

Life was bliss after the epidural. :-)  I was able to carry conversations with friends and no longer felt pain, but the "bliss" was short lived.  By 9:10PM it was time to "practice push."

I asked my night nurse, "What's that?"  She said, "The pushing in labor generally lasts about 2 hours.  You'll push and sometimes he tends to buoy back in, so it's good to do a practice push to get a sense of what it will feel like."

I did 2 practice pushes and she immediately told me to stop pushing.  He was ready to come out on his own! She said, "Stop pushing, we need to find out where Dr. Steinberg is!"  I was starting to panic that Dr. Steinberg wasn't going to make it on time.  I started to REALLY panic when I could feel his movements and it was beyond my control!

There was a comedic moment I will never forget.  Dr. Steinberg starts walking in smiling leisurely to everyone and then she looked at me and saw him crowning.  She immediately went into work-mode and said, "Don't have this baby without me!"

Thank God he was coming out head first, but just as he sleeps to this day, one of his arms started to peek out with it.  That's when I started to cry, because I thought he was going to do major damage to the both of us.  Thankfully, that wasn't the case.

Within about 20 minutes of pushing, Dillon arrived at 9:37PM, weighing in at 6.5 lbs, and measured at 18.5 inches. :-)  His cry was a loud screeching crow or hawk.  (Dr. Steinberg even said, "That's so...unusual!")

I forgot to mention, one of my biggest fears was that neither of my two OB/GYN's wouldn't be able to be there for my delivery.  Fortunately, Dr. Steinberg was on call that Tuesday, which is probably why she stripped the membrane the day before.  She was only to be there for 24 hours, so she probably also had me wait THAT long for the epidural so he would arrive within those 24 hours. (If I had the epidural sooner, it would've been very likely that the labor process would've been longer!)

Everything was so smooth with the help of the nurses at the hospital, we requested to stay an additional night because I was terrified at the idea of going home with Dillon alone and us having to fend for ourselves!  The staff was so kind that they even took Dillon for a few hours to let us sleep! (At our hospital there wasn't a nursery, Dillon stayed with us in the hospital room since his birth.)

(Tip for expecting moms:  treat your hospital staff like kings and queens! Spoil them with food and flowers, they've earned it and hardly receive presents.  Plus, the more you give them, the more attention they give you.)

At any rate, that's the story of his arrival.  My next post will be about how the past month went down.

Happy One Month, my love. :-)  So blessed to have you in my life. :-)  Thanks for making me a mom. :-)

It's a Boy!

It is 1:52AM...I am officially 25 weeks pregnant. My math was off in the previous post, because apparently 40 weeks does not equal 9 months.  It's more like 9.5-10 months!

So even though I am 6 months pregnant, I still have 4.5 months to go...give or take.

At 20 weeks we found out we're having a Boy!  We had an awesome Gender Reveal party to share with our friends and family.  Those who could not attend we ended up Google Chatting with while they opened an envelope saying that it was a boy.  Those who attended the party popped balloons with little messages saying "It's a Boy!"... it was all very exciting! :-)

The ultrasound was weird, I had a delayed reaction because there was so much noise in the room...I was the last to react because I had NO idea what was going on!  (I really thought I was looking at a finger on the ultrasound! lol)  Oops on me!

Being pregnant with Baby Bernal (nicknamed BB)  has been such a trip.   At about 18 weeks I was able to feel him inside of me, poking at my belly... shifting around.  I can already sense when he's uncomfortable in the position I'm in and readjust to his favorite resting position.    It's such an awesome feeling.

What's not an awesome feeling are the constant trips to the bathroom, itchy skin, not being able to fit in clothes, INVOLUNTARY lack of sleep...

Also not having my St. Frances Cabrini students take part in the joy of this journey has really been difficult for me. :-(  They were there when Richie proposed, when we got married, and when we announced we were pregnant!  I thought I would have seen them now, but God had a different plan for me.  He's definitely telling me to stay put and transition to the new role of "mommy" and "house wifey" and "nesting."  It's like a new job with a constant learning curve.  Learning to go about it healthily is tough!  But I'm slowly getting the hang of it.

I do praise in Thanksgiving for no longer driving that AWFUL commute!  Our poor cars... they have suffered enough!

I just miss my SFC kids... and I hope they're enjoying their school year.

As for me, my life has been filled with church, private teaching, getting the house ready for BB, doctor's appointments, and trying to stay healthy for BB (which as of late, I've been really slacking on). I've also been trying to stay mentally stimulated because I know I won't have ANY time to read once BB arrives, so I joined a Christian book club with a few of my favorite Advocare Ladies.

Alright...it's 2:11AM...probably time for BB and me to go to bed.  When we wake up I'm going to be picking up my girl, Vien for brunch, get to an appointment to organize shelving for the nursery, window shop for BB, Visual Fields appointment for my prolactinoma.  Tomorrow is my glucose test which I'm SO NOT looking forward to (I've been so bad with sweets, especially this past week...of course RIGHT BEFORE my glucose test)....I'm praying everything is ok.

Goodnight.

2013 Update

2012 was a very blessed year. It was filled with LOTS of travel: France, Italy, New York, California, Canada...to name a few.

New friends: AdvoCare has played a big role in our lives. It has helped me and Richie immensely, both physically and financially. It gave us a new outlet to meet new, truly inspirational people. I am blessed to call them my friends.

2012 completed our first year of marriage, and here we are about a month away from our 2nd year. A couple months ago I finished my 3rd year of teaching music at St. Frances Cabrini School. It was very difficult to let go of this job because I loved it so much, but for the sake of my family it was time to let go. The commute is absurd and I was paid little to nothing, but I did it for three years because I knew it was God's plan for me...a true vocation. I learned so much from my students and staff, I just pray I did the same for them.

Because there is so much love in that community, I haven't let go completely. I will be doing an after school children's choir once a week and I will still continue on with private voice and piano lessons. I am still directing for St. Frances Cabrini Church, and I will also be leading a prayer group every other week.

It's extremely taxing to live so far from my community (two hours with the absurd average traffic...ONE WAY), but God has shown me it is clearly time to slowly wean off, which is what I am doing.

The biggest reason being that I am currently 17 weeks and 3 days pregnant with our first child. :-) In 2ish weeks we will find out the gender of the baby!

It's been such a trip. This has been our plan all along, but it's still so surreal. I don't feel anything yet, I don't look different in any way, which is probably why it's so difficult to believe, even after 4 months of knowing. But every time I see an ultrasound (3 so far) and hear the baby's heartbeat (2 so far) it brings me back to reality.

I think the most bizarre experience so far has been the ultrasounds. I don't know what I was thinking, but for some reason I thought the baby would be very still. Maybe because I haven't seen a live sonogram since I was little in my mom's office. But the baby was waving, kicking, squirming...so cool! I thought I would cry, or at least Richie would, but we were moreso in awe.

September 16th will be a completely different story, I'm sure! I have this feeling in my gut that once I know whether it's a boy or a girl, my reservations of shopping for baby are going to go out the window and I'm going to go nuts! Ohhh, my poor wallet. :'(

Please pray for our family's health. For Baby Bernal, for mine, for Richie's. Less than 5 months to go, pray that all will go well. :-) I'm praying that this new transition of no longer being SFC's music teacher will pan out well. I know they have a fabulous new teacher. They're going to love her, she's amazing. I'm just praying I can cope with the new change.

First plus I've realized: Time freedom is fabulous. :-)

Au revoir, Paris!

Lame...I don't know why my blog is acting weird. anyway... I'm sad to leave Paris. Weather has been fabulous, time here has been leisurely, food great...sigh. Exciting times are ahead, though! Next stop: Italy!! DAY 6 in Paris: We totally did the museums out of order, but I wanted to do the ones that mattered to me most. I'm most attracted to modern art, so we made the trek to Centre Pompidou. At the top of this funky building, I believe, is the absolute best view of Paris. It was overwhelmingly gorgeous. To our far left was the Eiffel Tower from a distance. In the center was Notre Dame...to the far far far right on the top of the hill was Sacré Cœur. It was really cool to see how much we were able to cover in 6 days...and even more exciting to know we have MORE to cover when we come back! We did so much while we've been here and we haven't even scratched the surface! Pompidou was amazing...from Picasso to Pollock to Warhol and more...man, they were crazy. The Louvre was our last museum for this trip. I was really nervous about this one and had always avoided it in the past because I've heard it was nothing but chaos...and it is. I'm happy we went, but it was my least favorite because there were too many people distracting me from being able to truly appreciate everything. Like the Mona Lisa...that was the craziest push and shove and elbowing!!! And I swear someone tried to pickpocket me in the crowd to see her, but I elbowed him in the stomach. :-P. We did see amazing work...From da Vinci to Michelangelo to Delacroix...ohmiwow...My artsy friends are going to hate our pictures because we were goofing with the artwork the entire time. (Richie and I aren't cultured like that. We faux pick the nose of statues. :-P) I have new appreciation for Frenchfare food. When I thought French food I used to think fois gras, liver pâté, escargot, dainty portions. It's still fois gras, liver pâté and escargot, but NOW I am reminded that it's rich filled crepes (savory and sweet), croissants, baguettes, fromage, tartare, creme brûlée, eclairs, pommes frites, and crazy LARGE-ass portions!! We've been so gluttonous, but we've been walking miles and miles everyday, so I don't feel so bad. There's this bridge people walk on to lock a special lock and toss the key into the Seine River. They write their names on it and it symbolizes that the love of those who locked the lock will last forever. We bought a lock, wrote our names on it and locked it by the 10th post. Lol, we recorded it...it's pretty deng funny because I couldn't lock it for the longest time! Anyhoo, I should probably start saying goodbye to Paris and start packing. :-( sad day! I hope Rome is good to us. I'm excited to see the Vatican again. Yay for more firsts with my hubbers!

Bonsoir from Paris!

Richie and I are currently in Paris and having a fabulous time. :-) It truly is a city of romance, relaxation, rich in culture, high fashion, and great food! Tomorrow is our last day and then we head off to Rome. I hope it will be as enjoyable there as it has been for us here. Paris' weather has been perfect, which has played a BIG role in our stay here. DAY 1 (Saturday, June 30, 2012) It was definitely a rough start to our trip. We arrived at 6:30AM with over 24 hours of no sleep and nonstop travel. We were exhausted, but we had to stay awake and take advantage of our first day in the city to adjust to the time difference. We arrived at our hotel, (Hotel Waldorf-Trocadero) over five hours ahead of check-in, so we were stuck waiting around in the lobby, but that was fine because we met some of the guests and swapped ideas for our stay here. --The hotel is a PERFECT location...less than 10 minutes away walking distance from the most *gorgeous* view of the Eiffel Tower, 15-20 minutes from the Arc de Triomphe, less than 5 minutes from the metro, across the street from a great boulangerie...sigh...we lucked out in location. We met up with our friends Hazel and Cameron for lunch and took a bunch of photos in front of the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe. Later that evening we all met up with my friend Sidsel for dinner and to stop by the Louis Vuitton shop on the Champs-Élysées (not the original store, but the 2nd oldest in history!) Great group to travel with, yay friends! :-) DAY 2: Sidsel, Richie and I went to mass at the Notre Dame! Nope, didn't see Quasimodo, but the Gregorian Chant mass was a blessing in itself, totally set the positive vibes for our trip. We did a fun photo-op around the gardens of Notre Dame, grabbed yummy crepes from a street vendor, grabbed sandwiches and baguettes and ate them at Jardin du Luxemborg, where children rent little boats and poke them with sticks to make them move in their giant fountain. Then we had a little snack of fromage and wine...very Parisian. ;-) lol...then!!! EUROCUP FINALS MADNESS!!! True, it was Italy versus Spain, but that didn't stop the French from going crrrrazy over it! We briefly went to the Trocadero to join in the madness, but it was above and beyond insane...everyone trying to peer at the live feed they were showing on a projector screen in front of the Eiffel Tower...we decided to head out and find a bar to watch futbol, but no such luck. Every restaurant and bar was overflowed with people. So we ended up getting pizza and watching the game from the hotel room. Spain kicked Italy's butt! DAY 3 (Monday July 2nd) Sidsel, Richie, and I spent a gorgeous morning at the Jardin des Tuileries, the garden surrounding the amazing museums such as the Louvre, Orsay...etc. Then...VERSAILLES! Well, before that: CHRISTIAN LOUBUTIN!!! Lol...I just had to. Sidsel, Richie and I went to the very first Christian Loubutin boutique just in time before the line started to form outside. NO, I didn't buy anything, but I did try on a fabulous pair of $1200+ pair of shoes! The palace in Versailles isn't open on Mondays, but their garden takes a day in itself to walk through, and even then we didn't get to view everything! It sure was worth it, though. It's such an easy day-trip away from the city, and it was so peaceful easy to appreciate because none of the tourists were there, it was alllll ours to indulge in! (btw, we had sushi here. France makes awesome sushi!) At the end of the day we all had to part ways and say our goodbyes. :-(. Hazel and Cam headed off to Euro-Disney for the 20th anniversary of their park, and Sidsel had to go back to Denmark. --She and I ALWAYS cry when we part ways because we never know when we're going to see each other again because of the distance! But we've been blessed to see each other a lot in these past 4 years, so hopefully we'll have the opportunity again soon. Day 4: Our first day in Paris without our friends, we survived! We ventured out to see the Sacré Cœur, I went to confession with a French priest who didn't understand what I was saying, but anyway! Lol...the view from the Sacré Cœur is breathtaking...definitely worth taking the million flights of stairs to the top (420+ feet to be more exact.) Then we walked through Montemartre...then took the train back to Notre Dame where we waited for our romantic dinner boat tour through the Seine River. While we ate poisson and such, we cruised through to see... 1: Notre-Dame 2: Ile Saint-Louis 3: Conciergerie 4: Pont neuf 5: Passerelle des Arts 6: Musée du Louvre 7: Musée d'Orsay 8: Assemblée Nationale/Concorde 9: Pont Alexandre III 10: Pont de l'Alma 11: Musée Branly 12: Tour Eiffel ...whew! Can you imagine we had time for more?! Once the boat tour was over, we booked it back to the Trocadero to view the Eiffel Tower sparkle its evening lights. Cheesy romance at its best. ;-) Day 5: Museums museums museums. 1: Musée des Arts Decoratifs (History of Louis Vuitton - Marc Jacobs, Babar, Madeleine, Absinthe...etc) 2: Musée d'Orsay (Manet, Degas, Monet, Renoir, Van Gogh and more!!) 3: Musée de l'Orangerie (Monet's Water Lilies...sigh...BREATHTAKING...Renoir, Rousseau, Picasso...etc...whew!) Then...Café Angelina! I swear to you, the richest hot chocolate milk I have EVER tasted in my entire life! If we were to head back to the states now, I would have bought a bulk, but we're headed to Rome soon, so it would have been a challenge. But wow...worth the trip! And their pastries, ohmywow! On our way home we ran into a family from the Philippines who was COMPLETELY lost...thanks to Sidsel, Richie was able to help them find their way to the Arc de Triomphe. Lol they thought we were from Paris. Funny times! Tomorrow: the LOUVRE! About to do my research tonight so that I can indulge in tomorrow. :-)

Hello, 2012!

Over a year later...goodness.

I used to be so good at updating these... internet journals used to be such a healthy outlet for me with no shame or worry, but then as I got older and the number of readers began to grow I had to filter more and more until all my thoughts and feelings became code...until there was no point. My stress-reliever became too stressful because I had to be mindful of those around me, which is life. Nevertheless, here I am wanting to type away and update...mainly for my own sake to jot down memories.

For one...I'm a married woman now. :-) I am no longer a De Leon...rather, Tirol has been completely nixed from my name. I am Mrs. Maria Christina De Leon Bernal.

Richie and I got married on October 1, 2011. It was the most beautiful and traditionally chaotic wedding. I will always and forever remember that day for what it was...near complete perfection. It isn't until days, weeks, MONTHS later that you hear of these little aesthetic things that went awry, but I know now that on the day of, if you're surrounded by the right people, they hide and protect you from any silly logistical mishaps so you're completely *in* the moment. And because of them, I totally was...and I'm thankful. :-)

Months fly fast...I should have learned something from all that preparation, and most importantly our wedding day. I kept reminding myself that the prep and the actual day WILL go by fast, so I forced myself to mentally slow down, enjoy, and indulge in all that was going on so that I could appreciate and value every moment, and I did! But for some reason that advice and discipline went out the door once we came back from our honeymoon because we immediately were thrown back into our normal lives. Work came at us at full force, we've been so busy with this and that...all of a sudden it's been 5 months. Time does *not* slow down for you. You have to grab hold and embrace what you can as it passes by you. It took me a while, but I know that now. We know of a couple who has had a literally blissful 25+ years of marriage, sharing with us that their "honeymoon phase" has yet to fizzle...and I believe every word simply because their love exudes effortlessly out of them as individuals, -it can be nothing but the truth! Richie and I say to one another that we aspire to have a marriage like their's...they're such great role models. :-)

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In other news...

The Lord has been speaking to me and has been pressing to get my attention. I have no doubt He's been calling, but I have been having such a hard time trying to understand His message. He's been talking and showing Himself to me, but it's been like a puzzle...and my head and heart have been so cloudy I can't put the pieces together.

...I feel so damaged and scarred that there's this wall keeping me from finding true clarity in the message He's been wanting me to receive. (Yes, I refuse to deny the hardships, Lord knows there were many to get to where Richie and I are today)...I haven't willingly allowed myself to let go and let God...

I am aware of the abundant blessings and I am thankful to no end, but I refuse to lie and deny...I am still damaged. But He's been speaking to me now more than ever and there's always a reason for God's time...

-I went to confession today. It was the speediest impromptu confession I ever had...it was during my work day in between classes and I felt pressed to spill it all out in a list before my next class arrived, I didn't have time to reflect or relieve! It was the most unsettling and unnerving confession. ---Fr. Peter told me to read Luke Chapter 15...I'll get on that straight away before I sleep tonight. I may not get my answers right away because it's more of my impatience, I need to continue to work on His time and just...open my eyes, ears, and heart...pray for clarity and the strength to do whatever He wills.
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And that's that. We're already in Month 3 of 2012...sigh...see you in another year, Blogger readers! :-\ Hopefully sooner rather than later. ;-)

Too much?

I *must* be insane...I just volunteered to be the 4th grade volleyball coach. GAH!

I am:

An elementary music teacher.
A private lesson voice/piano teacher.
A choir director.
A volleyball coach.

We are:

Planning our wedding
Revamping the house

.............It *sounds* like a lot...it probably is...and yet, it doesn't feel like a lot...but it is!?

Dood...whew!