Dearest Love...

July 2, 2009 (Thursday) 12:17PM

Thank You, Lord. Thank You for answering my heaviest plea. You have *always* responded to my deepest, most concerning moments and You have never *EVER* failed me! I'm so blessed...because of You.

Through You and the practice to choose good with my free will, I was able to experience strength, courage, and initiative...the ability to passionately and respectfully express truth, openness, and deep feeling. I've never been able to do it so well as I had done the other day.

And I was able to learn something as well: The key to open sealed doors. I need to master this lesson to grow in my relationships with others.

This key. This lesson: Translation in the way we love. It's so simple!

Evil heat and strain is *NEVER* planted on its own. Hatred and resentment towards another sprouts from a lack of focus with one's initial intentions that may have been formerly sincere.

You must find the willingness to translate the difference in communication between you and the one you face.

You must see past the words spoken and the expression given to look deep into the heart of the matter.

We are each *extremely* different in how we present the messages we want to convey. ~Are we capable of seeing past our defenses?

Is it possible that the situation may simply come from being lost in the translation, which causes the upset?

The foreign and the unknown can be terrifying. To think that the foreign unknown is being exposed and interacting with the unfamiliar...I can see it now: My reason for my need to practice patience and the understanding.

There is love that can be given to no end. That's why those who genuinely love can become vulnerable and affected so easily by the expressions and words that we may or may not do and say. They then lose themselves in their lack of depth perception.

Lord, help me to master this realization so that I can be of better assistance to my family and friends. Help me to always think outside of my limited human thoughts for everyone to become that much closer to the concept of life: unified.

In Your name I pray,

Amen

Gluttony

It's *not* a beautiful thing.

How do you guys do it?

Seriously! I want to know! How can this actually be possible? It's uncanny...unfathomable, really. Show me how it's done.

I pray for...

Peace
Humility
Care
Comfort
Kindness
Sensitivity
Mindfulness
Strength
Courage
Love
Patience
Positive Ingenuity
Unity
Endurance
Friendship
Spiritual Fulfillment
Flexibility
Simplicity
Relaxation
Fearlessness
Understanding
Support

...but not in that order.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Please don't look at tomorrow if you won't handle today. Yesterday is no longer here, and tomorrow has yet to come. Live for where you are today. It will make a better tomorrow.

Thankful

I'm really thankful for feeling the motivation, the drive, the purpose, the reason.

I'm thankful for the support, the care, the love.

Whether you're near or far away, I still think of you all and hold your words and thoughts to high regard.

None of you will ever be a moment in time. Your comforting qualities are with me everyday.

I'm blessed beyond belief for the warmth.

*You* are why there is reason to smile.

Don't forget this.

No matter what the case may be, where we're at in our stages of life, I still think of you and pray you grasp what's best for you and you alone.

I love and miss you all. :-)

Breathing Deeply with a Smile

There are random spurts where I will have relief. I can inhale and exhale with ease and feel a refreshing release.

But they are brief.

Majority of the time I have been having this shortness of breath...where my inhaling isn't full...and breathing out is never deep enough.

It's as if I am supressing something heavy within me that I am not allowing myself to be free from. It's weighing me down so heavily I'm suffocated by the thought.

Anxiety driven, insecurities reaching the surface once again, the feeling of inferiority with the simplest of stares looked down upon me. The judgment is so transparent that it cannot be compensated for.

Then there are the eyes of admiration. Those who see a light they claim is within me. But I cannot decipher the truth with what they see in their eyes versus what I see in mine. There's distortion with what I see in the mirror. It's physical. It's pschological. It's mental. But the emotions are pure. Yet, they cannot be expressed to the fullest because of the overlapping consequences. I have yet to overcome the vulnerability of my surroundings. Hence, the source of the distortion.

I'm sharing multiple thoughts combined into one. It's been so overwhelming that although they are seperate elements, the burden of them all has combined into one large emotion.

They haven't been set aside, but rather, I have yet to find the cure to overcome the hurt that continues to instill within me.

Prayer has been key. Action has been the fear to face. Learning to stand tall...I need to be reminded of the moments where I was once able, because suddenly...I am once again incapable on many levels. Not all, but the isolation has made the room cold. The silence has truly been deafening. I'm exhausted by the preconceived notion of others...that I am okay.

Remind me that I am. I need to be reaffirmed there are other smiles to look at. The smiles that cause the ripple effect and contagiously touch any heart that hurts.

Will someone smile for me? So I can breathe well again without worry.