2009 treated me well. and it ended with a happy note: my niece was brought into the world! :-)
I hope everyone has a prosperous 2010. I'm praying for new doors to open in this upcoming new decade...and that this upcoming year will be filled with warm, spiritually filled, open hearts.
my 2010 resolutions? to always find reason to smile. to work hard towards feeling the rewards of accomplishment and full forth effort. to be proud of who i am and what i continue to make of myself no matter what struggles come my way. to put more trust in Him and allow myself to see His will placed before my eyes and to not lose sight of His reasons for every moment I face.
until next year!
Goodbye 2009 :-)
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
On December 11,2009 @ 7:41AM EST...
!~ALICE MARIE CHUANG WAS BORN~! :-D
I'M A TITA!!...FOR REAL THIS TIME! :-D
Congratulations to Pia and William!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
:-)
First, a funny:
One day at kindergarten the teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $10 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
A little Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "I'm sorry Sean, that's not correct."
Then a little Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."
Finally a little Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, David. Come up here and I'll give you $10."
As the teacher was giving David his money, she said, "You know, David, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said 'Jesus Christ.'"
David replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business..."
----------------------
haha!
----------------------
Second:
I really did have a wonderful birthday weekend. Everyone made it *extremely* special. I feel really blessed to have such amazing friends and family in my life.
Special thanks to Jean for not taking away my happy socks! >:-P
----------------------
Third:
Today, please pray for the fallen heroes, their friends and family, and our city. For those who aren't in the Lakewood/Tacoma area, here's the link to the program for the memorial: Our Fallen Heroes
One day at kindergarten the teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $10 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
A little Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "I'm sorry Sean, that's not correct."
Then a little Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."
Finally a little Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, David. Come up here and I'll give you $10."
As the teacher was giving David his money, she said, "You know, David, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said 'Jesus Christ.'"
David replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business..."
----------------------
haha!
----------------------
Second:
I really did have a wonderful birthday weekend. Everyone made it *extremely* special. I feel really blessed to have such amazing friends and family in my life.
Special thanks to Jean for not taking away my happy socks! >:-P
----------------------
Third:
Today, please pray for the fallen heroes, their friends and family, and our city. For those who aren't in the Lakewood/Tacoma area, here's the link to the program for the memorial: Our Fallen Heroes
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
LSS 16
The long-awaited weekend is finally here! I can't believe it...I'm about to take the Life in the Spirit Seminar...
He has such a way with timing...my heart had been so heavy lately. With family, my relationships with others...all of these different aspects in my life have tugged and pulled my heart and mind in every which way possible. But here I am...hours away from emerging myself into a time where all I intend to focus on is me and Him. There isn't anyone or any disruptive thing that will get in the way of this time with Him, for the support and the power of prayer that will surround me and be within me will conquer all heavy burden. With every opportunity I am given this weekend, I will utilize everything and everyone's support in every way that I can to indulge in this chance to open the doors that will bring me *that* much closer to Him.
Going into this, I will not have any expectations. I will do my utmost best to clear my mind and open my heart so that I can finally attempt to tackle the hardest challenge of all: forgiveness. I pray for the power to forgive others, but most importantly, the courage to forgive myself.
He has such a way with timing...my heart had been so heavy lately. With family, my relationships with others...all of these different aspects in my life have tugged and pulled my heart and mind in every which way possible. But here I am...hours away from emerging myself into a time where all I intend to focus on is me and Him. There isn't anyone or any disruptive thing that will get in the way of this time with Him, for the support and the power of prayer that will surround me and be within me will conquer all heavy burden. With every opportunity I am given this weekend, I will utilize everything and everyone's support in every way that I can to indulge in this chance to open the doors that will bring me *that* much closer to Him.
Going into this, I will not have any expectations. I will do my utmost best to clear my mind and open my heart so that I can finally attempt to tackle the hardest challenge of all: forgiveness. I pray for the power to forgive others, but most importantly, the courage to forgive myself.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
Responsorial Psalm
Ps 17:1bcd, 5-6, 8b and 15
R. (15b) Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
Hear, O LORD, a just suit;
attend to my outcry;
hearken to my prayer from lips without deceit.
R. Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
My steps have been steadfast in your paths,
my feet have not faltered.
I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
incline your ear to me; hear my word.
R. Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings.
But I in justice shall behold your face;
on waking, I shall be content in your presence.
R. Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
Ps 17:1bcd, 5-6, 8b and 15
R. (15b) Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
Hear, O LORD, a just suit;
attend to my outcry;
hearken to my prayer from lips without deceit.
R. Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
My steps have been steadfast in your paths,
my feet have not faltered.
I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
incline your ear to me; hear my word.
R. Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings.
But I in justice shall behold your face;
on waking, I shall be content in your presence.
R. Lord, when your glory appears, my joy will be full.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
November? Already!?
Happy November, all :-)
I just got back from San Fransisco last week. We only went for a day, but it was well worth the trip. :-) Lots of good food, fun sightseeing...perfect getaway from stresses and schedules. :-P
I can't believe it's November already. Time always flies fast, but even then, it's shocking each time. :-P
----------------------------------------
I'm feeling...well, I don't know what I've been feeling lately. Slightly detached from a few things, but feeling such GREAT growth in other things around me. So many things progressing at the church, the good company I'm surrounded by, but there's still such heavy weight I feel anchoring me down everytime I attempt to sit.
----------------------------------------
Apprehensive. Anxious. Drained. They never seem to completely go away when unresolved thoughts resurface, do they? But that doesn't stop time from moving forward. True? Yes.
----------------------------------------
Next stop: KENNEWICK! What it is. :-P
I just got back from San Fransisco last week. We only went for a day, but it was well worth the trip. :-) Lots of good food, fun sightseeing...perfect getaway from stresses and schedules. :-P
I can't believe it's November already. Time always flies fast, but even then, it's shocking each time. :-P
----------------------------------------
I'm feeling...well, I don't know what I've been feeling lately. Slightly detached from a few things, but feeling such GREAT growth in other things around me. So many things progressing at the church, the good company I'm surrounded by, but there's still such heavy weight I feel anchoring me down everytime I attempt to sit.
----------------------------------------
Apprehensive. Anxious. Drained. They never seem to completely go away when unresolved thoughts resurface, do they? But that doesn't stop time from moving forward. True? Yes.
----------------------------------------
Next stop: KENNEWICK! What it is. :-P
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Karma's a Bitch
I'm tired of waking up in the morning and asking Him to "please get me through today."
The stress and struggles fog up the joy and happiness I am blessed with everyday. I allow myself to give negative moments heavier weight than it should be allowed. I tend to forget that human struggle isn't everlasting with strong will and good faith for change. There are joys in life here on earth that one should *always* thank Him for at the wake of every morning and at the end of each day.
I'm tired of crunching and compacting time to fit the desires that I am not called to have. The expectations I am to meet are not to hit deadlines, but to do my utmost best and show my full potential. I am called to express every positive sense of myself, and in doing so I will be able to get closer towards the process of becoming what He wants me to completely be in order to be fully prepared when my time comes to be with Him face to face.
It is a waste to have my life here on earth be consumed with hatred in my heart. I won't be able to function well and do what I am called to do, which is to serve Him and Him alone. By serving Him, my calling is to help myself, so that I can help others. I am not helping myself by keeping stagnant, or retreating. I must continue to walk forward with my eyes open and my heart warm.
I must continue to step away from fire, let it fizzle, so that I will continue to walk.
Love others as you would yourself. If you don't love yourself, then you will never grow. If you don't want to grow...then why are you here? If you act as though there is no purpose, but believe in the solid fact that there *is,* then you must begin with the process of finding it. Only then will you be able to smile.
Amen? Amen.
The stress and struggles fog up the joy and happiness I am blessed with everyday. I allow myself to give negative moments heavier weight than it should be allowed. I tend to forget that human struggle isn't everlasting with strong will and good faith for change. There are joys in life here on earth that one should *always* thank Him for at the wake of every morning and at the end of each day.
I'm tired of crunching and compacting time to fit the desires that I am not called to have. The expectations I am to meet are not to hit deadlines, but to do my utmost best and show my full potential. I am called to express every positive sense of myself, and in doing so I will be able to get closer towards the process of becoming what He wants me to completely be in order to be fully prepared when my time comes to be with Him face to face.
It is a waste to have my life here on earth be consumed with hatred in my heart. I won't be able to function well and do what I am called to do, which is to serve Him and Him alone. By serving Him, my calling is to help myself, so that I can help others. I am not helping myself by keeping stagnant, or retreating. I must continue to walk forward with my eyes open and my heart warm.
I must continue to step away from fire, let it fizzle, so that I will continue to walk.
Love others as you would yourself. If you don't love yourself, then you will never grow. If you don't want to grow...then why are you here? If you act as though there is no purpose, but believe in the solid fact that there *is,* then you must begin with the process of finding it. Only then will you be able to smile.
Amen? Amen.
Monday, October 19, 2009
2 Big Events!
#1) MITZI AND STEPHEN ARE GETTING MARRIED!! Ohmigah! And the countdown begins... :-D
#2) Guess who's coming home the first weekend of November? hehehehe ;-) OHMIGAH I'M SO EXCITED!!! :-D YAY TUMBLEWEEDS!!! See y'all soon! :-D
~me
PS
OHHH!!! *and* San Fran...yes. :-) But that's a secret!!! (shhh, I didn't tell you!)
#2) Guess who's coming home the first weekend of November? hehehehe ;-) OHMIGAH I'M SO EXCITED!!! :-D YAY TUMBLEWEEDS!!! See y'all soon! :-D
~me
PS
OHHH!!! *and* San Fran...yes. :-) But that's a secret!!! (shhh, I didn't tell you!)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
NOOOO!!! I QUIT!!!!
NO MORE DIAPERS!! I QUIT I QUIT I QUIT! This is beyond ridiculous!! It's riDONKulous!! RiDONKulous, I say!!! Rawr! BAD BAD JUJU!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Advertisement!
Hey kids :)
A good friend of mine needs a roommate. He has a condo in Parkland near highway 512. It's ready to move into. Internet, utilities, electricity, and rent...all for $500 a month!!!! Do it!!! You know want to. ;) I'll buy you a cookie if you do!
A good friend of mine needs a roommate. He has a condo in Parkland near highway 512. It's ready to move into. Internet, utilities, electricity, and rent...all for $500 a month!!!! Do it!!! You know want to. ;) I'll buy you a cookie if you do!
Monday, October 5, 2009
What a blessing...
Last Sunday's mass meant the *world* to me! Thanks for all those who supported Cabrini's Music Ministry. Especially to you, Kuya Jesse, for going out of your way and risking the wrath of your director at St. John Basco. :-P
We're going through so many changes...and it was a really refreshing start...and it truly felt as though we're moving forward, each one with strong, prayerful hearts.
It's an honor to work with you all and I look forward for what's to come. :-)
------------------------------------------------------------
To all my friends and family:
Come and worship with us at 11AM at St. Francis Cabrini in Lakewood! It's good times. ;-)
------------------------------------------------------------
~me
Post Scriptum:
Don't take Alli. It's bad juju. If you do, grab a diaper. That's all I'm saying.
We're going through so many changes...and it was a really refreshing start...and it truly felt as though we're moving forward, each one with strong, prayerful hearts.
It's an honor to work with you all and I look forward for what's to come. :-)
------------------------------------------------------------
To all my friends and family:
Come and worship with us at 11AM at St. Francis Cabrini in Lakewood! It's good times. ;-)
------------------------------------------------------------
~me
Post Scriptum:
Don't take Alli. It's bad juju. If you do, grab a diaper. That's all I'm saying.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I'm Done
This is what I've learned in the past several months...and it has been finally been wrapping up for me:
This is real life. There are real life situations that need to be the core focus of where your attention should go. There is no time in life to nit-pick and cause burden to things that can be overcome with allowing yourself to think through with a peaceful mind and heart. But if you consume your life with no sensitivity, mindfulness, care, and concern for those around you? And you continue to judge the exterior and continue to only be self-indulging into your mere human desires that are not being fulfilled, and you are not willing to seek into the hearts of others that could truly be genuine...but you choose to stay within your hatred...how can you sleep at night?
It is inexcusable to spread slander about one whom you know nothing about. It is unnecessary to feel the need to be informed about things for curiosity's sake. There is too much pain and hurt in this real world...
I'm doing myself a favor. I'm finally seeking justice. I'm finally seeking peace. I'm finally creating a healthy foundation for myself through Him. He is all I need. His guidance is all I should follow from this point forward. Now more than ever, I will continue to try my utmost best to no longer have negative surroundings consume me and make me swell with tears.
I pray for answers tomorrow night. I pray for peace, resolve, solution, and the safety of my loving family, my strong support of friends, and the care of my ministry. This has gone on for far too long. And I am ready to move on.
This is real life. There are real life situations that need to be the core focus of where your attention should go. There is no time in life to nit-pick and cause burden to things that can be overcome with allowing yourself to think through with a peaceful mind and heart. But if you consume your life with no sensitivity, mindfulness, care, and concern for those around you? And you continue to judge the exterior and continue to only be self-indulging into your mere human desires that are not being fulfilled, and you are not willing to seek into the hearts of others that could truly be genuine...but you choose to stay within your hatred...how can you sleep at night?
It is inexcusable to spread slander about one whom you know nothing about. It is unnecessary to feel the need to be informed about things for curiosity's sake. There is too much pain and hurt in this real world...
I'm doing myself a favor. I'm finally seeking justice. I'm finally seeking peace. I'm finally creating a healthy foundation for myself through Him. He is all I need. His guidance is all I should follow from this point forward. Now more than ever, I will continue to try my utmost best to no longer have negative surroundings consume me and make me swell with tears.
I pray for answers tomorrow night. I pray for peace, resolve, solution, and the safety of my loving family, my strong support of friends, and the care of my ministry. This has gone on for far too long. And I am ready to move on.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
It was a Top Night
It was really great fun, I wish I could have stayed longer. :-( I hope you all were safe and continued on having a blast. Sorry I couldn't have been there for the rest of it, but school is school.
Praying that I get my stuff in by 4 today. Aaaah so close, yet so far. :-(
5 weeks and counting until the wedding bells ring! Ohmigah!
Praying that I get my stuff in by 4 today. Aaaah so close, yet so far. :-(
5 weeks and counting until the wedding bells ring! Ohmigah!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Prayer Petition
Please pray for our Music Ministry at St. Francis Cabrini, as it will be going through a lot of upcoming changes in the near future. Pray that it will strengthen our bond with one another, and that it will revive our stewardship for our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
One Condition
This is what I have always said and still stay true to: If there is a significant, miraculous change that you can present to me that is real and lasting...I will come back.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Adventure Complete!
Adventure #1 for the semester has been completed. :-) Whoot!! Yay hashbrowns! hehe Okay...*now* I'm ready to kick off the focus. :-)
Plus, very good first week. :-) Looking forward to this fall term. :-) Yay!
Plus, very good first week. :-) Looking forward to this fall term. :-) Yay!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Tired of that sound!
Chris (however you spell it,) it's just bad juju now. Seriously, just call me Maria!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Mitzi
Happy belated to my good friend, Mitzi. :-) May you be blessed this new year of your life with great company, joyful moments, and continue on with a healthy, happy life. :-) I love you!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I need to post in this more...
I always love new beginnings. :-) New beginnings of any kind. I always get this positive adrenaline rush with this foundation of feeling refreshed and revamped. :-)
I'm overwhelmed with emotions right now. I'm all over the spectrum because my heart is racing and my mind is wandering about a million directions! (maybe it's the espresso...oops) ~But I'm typing this as my night is coming to a close. So tonight when my head lays on the pillow, I'm going to have my heart take a step back and reflect at a pace where I will keep a peaceful, steady view on what's to come.
My final year at PLU, what it is. ;-)
I'm overwhelmed with emotions right now. I'm all over the spectrum because my heart is racing and my mind is wandering about a million directions! (maybe it's the espresso...oops) ~But I'm typing this as my night is coming to a close. So tonight when my head lays on the pillow, I'm going to have my heart take a step back and reflect at a pace where I will keep a peaceful, steady view on what's to come.
My final year at PLU, what it is. ;-)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Enlightenment, Realization, Refresher, Revamped
"You've lost that joy in you..."
I've found a peaceful calm. A wholeness...spiritual fulfillment. My former sense of self was so encumbersome and a strain to the full potential of good health.
What I have yet to find is a happy medium. Peace with exuberance. It will come with time.
------------------------------------------------
Congratulations to my dear friend, Huong and the love of her life, Trevor. I pray for the love and joy you have found in one another, -that it may blossom into a bond more powerful and strong with each day you two have together as husband and wife. Love and many blessings to you both. :-)
I've found a peaceful calm. A wholeness...spiritual fulfillment. My former sense of self was so encumbersome and a strain to the full potential of good health.
What I have yet to find is a happy medium. Peace with exuberance. It will come with time.
------------------------------------------------
Congratulations to my dear friend, Huong and the love of her life, Trevor. I pray for the love and joy you have found in one another, -that it may blossom into a bond more powerful and strong with each day you two have together as husband and wife. Love and many blessings to you both. :-)
Monday, August 3, 2009
Happy August :-)
Happy August everyone! :-)
This past summer I have been taking summer courses. Thanks to everyone who prayed for my success and supported me throughout the term. You have helped me get through the months and with your help I did well! :-) Thanks thanks. :-)
So now I finally have a summer. :-) I was able to have downtime during the months of June and July, but now I finally have the time to fully relax and recharge before my *final year of college.*
~Many things to look forward to! :-D~ And I can't wait to share it with my loved ones. :-)
Take care all! :-)
This past summer I have been taking summer courses. Thanks to everyone who prayed for my success and supported me throughout the term. You have helped me get through the months and with your help I did well! :-) Thanks thanks. :-)
So now I finally have a summer. :-) I was able to have downtime during the months of June and July, but now I finally have the time to fully relax and recharge before my *final year of college.*
~Many things to look forward to! :-D~ And I can't wait to share it with my loved ones. :-)
Take care all! :-)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Dearest Love...
July 2, 2009 (Thursday) 12:17PM
Thank You, Lord. Thank You for answering my heaviest plea. You have *always* responded to my deepest, most concerning moments and You have never *EVER* failed me! I'm so blessed...because of You.
Through You and the practice to choose good with my free will, I was able to experience strength, courage, and initiative...the ability to passionately and respectfully express truth, openness, and deep feeling. I've never been able to do it so well as I had done the other day.
And I was able to learn something as well: The key to open sealed doors. I need to master this lesson to grow in my relationships with others.
This key. This lesson: Translation in the way we love. It's so simple!
Evil heat and strain is *NEVER* planted on its own. Hatred and resentment towards another sprouts from a lack of focus with one's initial intentions that may have been formerly sincere.
You must find the willingness to translate the difference in communication between you and the one you face.
You must see past the words spoken and the expression given to look deep into the heart of the matter.
We are each *extremely* different in how we present the messages we want to convey. ~Are we capable of seeing past our defenses?
Is it possible that the situation may simply come from being lost in the translation, which causes the upset?
The foreign and the unknown can be terrifying. To think that the foreign unknown is being exposed and interacting with the unfamiliar...I can see it now: My reason for my need to practice patience and the understanding.
There is love that can be given to no end. That's why those who genuinely love can become vulnerable and affected so easily by the expressions and words that we may or may not do and say. They then lose themselves in their lack of depth perception.
Lord, help me to master this realization so that I can be of better assistance to my family and friends. Help me to always think outside of my limited human thoughts for everyone to become that much closer to the concept of life: unified.
In Your name I pray,
Amen
Thank You, Lord. Thank You for answering my heaviest plea. You have *always* responded to my deepest, most concerning moments and You have never *EVER* failed me! I'm so blessed...because of You.
Through You and the practice to choose good with my free will, I was able to experience strength, courage, and initiative...the ability to passionately and respectfully express truth, openness, and deep feeling. I've never been able to do it so well as I had done the other day.
And I was able to learn something as well: The key to open sealed doors. I need to master this lesson to grow in my relationships with others.
This key. This lesson: Translation in the way we love. It's so simple!
Evil heat and strain is *NEVER* planted on its own. Hatred and resentment towards another sprouts from a lack of focus with one's initial intentions that may have been formerly sincere.
You must find the willingness to translate the difference in communication between you and the one you face.
You must see past the words spoken and the expression given to look deep into the heart of the matter.
We are each *extremely* different in how we present the messages we want to convey. ~Are we capable of seeing past our defenses?
Is it possible that the situation may simply come from being lost in the translation, which causes the upset?
The foreign and the unknown can be terrifying. To think that the foreign unknown is being exposed and interacting with the unfamiliar...I can see it now: My reason for my need to practice patience and the understanding.
There is love that can be given to no end. That's why those who genuinely love can become vulnerable and affected so easily by the expressions and words that we may or may not do and say. They then lose themselves in their lack of depth perception.
Lord, help me to master this realization so that I can be of better assistance to my family and friends. Help me to always think outside of my limited human thoughts for everyone to become that much closer to the concept of life: unified.
In Your name I pray,
Amen
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
How do you guys do it?
Seriously! I want to know! How can this actually be possible? It's uncanny...unfathomable, really. Show me how it's done.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I pray for...
Peace
Humility
Care
Comfort
Kindness
Sensitivity
Mindfulness
Strength
Courage
Love
Patience
Positive Ingenuity
Unity
Endurance
Friendship
Spiritual Fulfillment
Flexibility
Simplicity
Relaxation
Fearlessness
Understanding
Support
...but not in that order.
Humility
Care
Comfort
Kindness
Sensitivity
Mindfulness
Strength
Courage
Love
Patience
Positive Ingenuity
Unity
Endurance
Friendship
Spiritual Fulfillment
Flexibility
Simplicity
Relaxation
Fearlessness
Understanding
Support
...but not in that order.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Please don't look at tomorrow if you won't handle today. Yesterday is no longer here, and tomorrow has yet to come. Live for where you are today. It will make a better tomorrow.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Thankful
I'm really thankful for feeling the motivation, the drive, the purpose, the reason.
I'm thankful for the support, the care, the love.
Whether you're near or far away, I still think of you all and hold your words and thoughts to high regard.
None of you will ever be a moment in time. Your comforting qualities are with me everyday.
I'm blessed beyond belief for the warmth.
*You* are why there is reason to smile.
Don't forget this.
No matter what the case may be, where we're at in our stages of life, I still think of you and pray you grasp what's best for you and you alone.
I love and miss you all. :-)
I'm thankful for the support, the care, the love.
Whether you're near or far away, I still think of you all and hold your words and thoughts to high regard.
None of you will ever be a moment in time. Your comforting qualities are with me everyday.
I'm blessed beyond belief for the warmth.
*You* are why there is reason to smile.
Don't forget this.
No matter what the case may be, where we're at in our stages of life, I still think of you and pray you grasp what's best for you and you alone.
I love and miss you all. :-)
Monday, June 8, 2009
Breathing Deeply with a Smile
There are random spurts where I will have relief. I can inhale and exhale with ease and feel a refreshing release.
But they are brief.
Majority of the time I have been having this shortness of breath...where my inhaling isn't full...and breathing out is never deep enough.
It's as if I am supressing something heavy within me that I am not allowing myself to be free from. It's weighing me down so heavily I'm suffocated by the thought.
Anxiety driven, insecurities reaching the surface once again, the feeling of inferiority with the simplest of stares looked down upon me. The judgment is so transparent that it cannot be compensated for.
Then there are the eyes of admiration. Those who see a light they claim is within me. But I cannot decipher the truth with what they see in their eyes versus what I see in mine. There's distortion with what I see in the mirror. It's physical. It's pschological. It's mental. But the emotions are pure. Yet, they cannot be expressed to the fullest because of the overlapping consequences. I have yet to overcome the vulnerability of my surroundings. Hence, the source of the distortion.
I'm sharing multiple thoughts combined into one. It's been so overwhelming that although they are seperate elements, the burden of them all has combined into one large emotion.
They haven't been set aside, but rather, I have yet to find the cure to overcome the hurt that continues to instill within me.
Prayer has been key. Action has been the fear to face. Learning to stand tall...I need to be reminded of the moments where I was once able, because suddenly...I am once again incapable on many levels. Not all, but the isolation has made the room cold. The silence has truly been deafening. I'm exhausted by the preconceived notion of others...that I am okay.
Remind me that I am. I need to be reaffirmed there are other smiles to look at. The smiles that cause the ripple effect and contagiously touch any heart that hurts.
Will someone smile for me? So I can breathe well again without worry.
But they are brief.
Majority of the time I have been having this shortness of breath...where my inhaling isn't full...and breathing out is never deep enough.
It's as if I am supressing something heavy within me that I am not allowing myself to be free from. It's weighing me down so heavily I'm suffocated by the thought.
Anxiety driven, insecurities reaching the surface once again, the feeling of inferiority with the simplest of stares looked down upon me. The judgment is so transparent that it cannot be compensated for.
Then there are the eyes of admiration. Those who see a light they claim is within me. But I cannot decipher the truth with what they see in their eyes versus what I see in mine. There's distortion with what I see in the mirror. It's physical. It's pschological. It's mental. But the emotions are pure. Yet, they cannot be expressed to the fullest because of the overlapping consequences. I have yet to overcome the vulnerability of my surroundings. Hence, the source of the distortion.
I'm sharing multiple thoughts combined into one. It's been so overwhelming that although they are seperate elements, the burden of them all has combined into one large emotion.
They haven't been set aside, but rather, I have yet to find the cure to overcome the hurt that continues to instill within me.
Prayer has been key. Action has been the fear to face. Learning to stand tall...I need to be reminded of the moments where I was once able, because suddenly...I am once again incapable on many levels. Not all, but the isolation has made the room cold. The silence has truly been deafening. I'm exhausted by the preconceived notion of others...that I am okay.
Remind me that I am. I need to be reaffirmed there are other smiles to look at. The smiles that cause the ripple effect and contagiously touch any heart that hurts.
Will someone smile for me? So I can breathe well again without worry.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Simplistic Ramble
Everything's been calm. :-) Simple and smooth. Not rough or rocky. It's been relaxed and easy. Not loud or blatantly brash. Subtle, but not subdued.
Do I miss the chaos? I have at times, but I pick health and sanity over the desperate longing to relive recklessness. I don't care for reverting back to climbing when I'm already there.
I'm now at the part where one may feel like they're walking alone, but the feeling only comes from the change to the abrupt stage where time didn't allow us to adjust.
It will be gratifying in the end when the temporary isolating stage finds the resolution fitted appropriately, and *everytwo* gather together to share what they had learned during the time they searched for their answer for this one necessary experience to life.
The more flexible they are, the better. The more structured they are where they cannot look outside of their space left for two, they will struggle when their limited focus breaks and shatters. Options and variations are essential for failed risks taken.
Granted, one may not fail. One may succeed in the search, but will they remember what had been sacrificed? Will they be able to collect what they had dropped along the way?...Will they even want to...or was that always the plan? To have your past years be a part of the strategy needed to sustain the health? <--If *this* is the case, I wish you well, my friends. I'm thankful I was there to assist you in your journey. ~Funny...is this karma for undermining the details to mine? Suddenly...I am humbled.
This has almost been decade's worth of a lesson, but the light is beginning to brighten. I'm slowly relaxing the stiffness of my spine, loosening my flexed body, simply to enjoy and embrace just as you all have...which is what I should have been doing from the beginning. But you know what they say...when one looks up in the sky or over their shoulder. If not, then study your stage and be honest with what you're standing in.
Ignorant minds are always joyful because they refuse to know anything beyond their limited and selective knowledge. The ones who have the landscape mindset are the ones who suffer, for they see everything and hold every detail to equivalent value with the next. The ones who will sustain peace and grasp the concept of lasting love, those who are appreciative, grateful, and loyal to being mindful, are able to have a focal point and not discard all other elements which they know will be needed for acknowledgment later.
The farther north I go, the more nostalgic I get. The more I revel in the south, the more isolated I become, but I'm not blind. I'm flexible enough to continue on seeking balance. Going off course does not compel me to jump off and stop moving. That is ending all far too early. I will continue to live and assist in the travels of others. Once I'm at a balance, that's when the new game begins. The game where everyone wins. Until then...I shall continue to be strategic, but *this* time...with a smile.
In other words, I miss my friends.
Post Scriptum:
Did you know that when you think a message is directed towards you, but you're not sure...this could potentially mean there is something you have yet to resolve? Either that or you're straight up guilty. *OR* if you assume this is of another, you're just snoopy? ***Communication. You know what I say. It's a beautiful thing.***
Do I miss the chaos? I have at times, but I pick health and sanity over the desperate longing to relive recklessness. I don't care for reverting back to climbing when I'm already there.
I'm now at the part where one may feel like they're walking alone, but the feeling only comes from the change to the abrupt stage where time didn't allow us to adjust.
It will be gratifying in the end when the temporary isolating stage finds the resolution fitted appropriately, and *everytwo* gather together to share what they had learned during the time they searched for their answer for this one necessary experience to life.
The more flexible they are, the better. The more structured they are where they cannot look outside of their space left for two, they will struggle when their limited focus breaks and shatters. Options and variations are essential for failed risks taken.
Granted, one may not fail. One may succeed in the search, but will they remember what had been sacrificed? Will they be able to collect what they had dropped along the way?...Will they even want to...or was that always the plan? To have your past years be a part of the strategy needed to sustain the health? <--If *this* is the case, I wish you well, my friends. I'm thankful I was there to assist you in your journey. ~Funny...is this karma for undermining the details to mine? Suddenly...I am humbled.
This has almost been decade's worth of a lesson, but the light is beginning to brighten. I'm slowly relaxing the stiffness of my spine, loosening my flexed body, simply to enjoy and embrace just as you all have...which is what I should have been doing from the beginning. But you know what they say...when one looks up in the sky or over their shoulder. If not, then study your stage and be honest with what you're standing in.
Ignorant minds are always joyful because they refuse to know anything beyond their limited and selective knowledge. The ones who have the landscape mindset are the ones who suffer, for they see everything and hold every detail to equivalent value with the next. The ones who will sustain peace and grasp the concept of lasting love, those who are appreciative, grateful, and loyal to being mindful, are able to have a focal point and not discard all other elements which they know will be needed for acknowledgment later.
The farther north I go, the more nostalgic I get. The more I revel in the south, the more isolated I become, but I'm not blind. I'm flexible enough to continue on seeking balance. Going off course does not compel me to jump off and stop moving. That is ending all far too early. I will continue to live and assist in the travels of others. Once I'm at a balance, that's when the new game begins. The game where everyone wins. Until then...I shall continue to be strategic, but *this* time...with a smile.
In other words, I miss my friends.
Post Scriptum:
Did you know that when you think a message is directed towards you, but you're not sure...this could potentially mean there is something you have yet to resolve? Either that or you're straight up guilty. *OR* if you assume this is of another, you're just snoopy? ***Communication. You know what I say. It's a beautiful thing.***
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Back "Home"
I'm back from New York. :-) It was very memorable, fun times. :-)
Sunday I'm taking this day to recoup...and then, summer school begins! whooo!
Time for sleep. Will share anything and everything about my vacation for anyone who asks. :-P
Peach out for now. :-)
~me
Sunday I'm taking this day to recoup...and then, summer school begins! whooo!
Time for sleep. Will share anything and everything about my vacation for anyone who asks. :-P
Peach out for now. :-)
~me
Friday, May 29, 2009
:-)
I can finally breathe again. :-)
New York has been the best kick-off for the upcoming months.
It's going to be a great summer, fa sho! ;-) hehehe
New York has been the best kick-off for the upcoming months.
It's going to be a great summer, fa sho! ;-) hehehe
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thanks for playing!
It didn't work...but thanks to those who played along anyway. :-P
Here I am. In New York. Yet, again. ;-) I will be here for one week, arriving home Saturday night.
...and then...
School begins Monday!...again!...yay?
Here I am. In New York. Yet, again. ;-) I will be here for one week, arriving home Saturday night.
...and then...
School begins Monday!...again!...yay?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
I. Am. Done.
I'm not done...but I feel done. And in a closing type of way. I'm just...I'm so ready to just...
Well, let me put it this way.
I'm ready to go home.
I want to go home.
I'm going home. Watch out now, K-town peoples, Mz. De Leon's home! ;-) watch out now.
Well, let me put it this way.
I'm ready to go home.
I want to go home.
I'm going home. Watch out now, K-town peoples, Mz. De Leon's home! ;-) watch out now.
Friday, May 22, 2009
As of 4PM...
Tonight, I am freaking getting wreckless (in a safe manner). Will someone be wreckless with me!?...any takers? Going once...going twice...
No, seriously. If anyone wants to go out tonight, or even this weekend, let me know. If I don't hear from anyone over on this side of the mountains by 4PM...Sarah, you just better have some Burger Ranch with a side of alllllll the stuff we had way back when with the Cha Cha at 5am fun or *something* waiting for me coz' shooots...I'm heading your way! I'm getting *way* too edgy.
Need to shake it off. WHO IS WITH ME!?!?!?!? ....deng....I think I'm hearing crickets :-(
Well, I'm putting it out there! Either you're in...or I'm out! Coz', why!?
FRIGGIN' LAST DAY OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!! Heck YES it is! :-D
No, seriously. If anyone wants to go out tonight, or even this weekend, let me know. If I don't hear from anyone over on this side of the mountains by 4PM...Sarah, you just better have some Burger Ranch with a side of alllllll the stuff we had way back when with the Cha Cha at 5am fun or *something* waiting for me coz' shooots...I'm heading your way! I'm getting *way* too edgy.
Need to shake it off. WHO IS WITH ME!?!?!?!? ....deng....I think I'm hearing crickets :-(
Well, I'm putting it out there! Either you're in...or I'm out! Coz', why!?
FRIGGIN' LAST DAY OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!! Heck YES it is! :-D
Monday, May 18, 2009
School
Good GAWD...get me through this week...I'm going to buy the most GIANT cookie with a big ol' bottle of red WITH a side of big mac once this week is over. And for dessert? Double quarter pounder w/cheese, and shake. Of course, I'll add an unsweetened iced tea...you know, to watch my figure. ;-)
If I do *not* survive this week...I'll cut back on the double quarter pounder and remove one patty. Yes.
If I do *not* survive this week...I'll cut back on the double quarter pounder and remove one patty. Yes.
Friday, May 15, 2009
One of my pet peeves...
When someone sends you the most random of messages...and just leaves you hanging in suspense.
You reply to their message, waiting for a response...and you're waiting...and waiting...not knowing what's happening.
For the love of gosh!!! rawr.
--------------------------------------------------
On a scale from one to ten, my anxiety level for everything is a 50. I am not a happy camper. :-(
You reply to their message, waiting for a response...and you're waiting...and waiting...not knowing what's happening.
For the love of gosh!!! rawr.
--------------------------------------------------
On a scale from one to ten, my anxiety level for everything is a 50. I am not a happy camper. :-(
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Getting there
I'm happy everyone's moving forward, becoming stronger, and healthier. Keep it up, kids. I'll get to where you are soon enough.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Inspired by Deacon George
"Dearest Lord,
Let my tears be my prayer...for they speak of the words that I cannot."
Amen.
Let my tears be my prayer...for they speak of the words that I cannot."
Amen.
Oregon
I just got back from Portland. It was a really great trip. The main reason for going was to see the Grotto.
It didn't occur to me that it had been well over 14 years since I was last there, but each time you go it's a visit you can never forget. Every part of this place...so breathtaking, warm, welcoming, meditative, peaceful...all of the above that is good! And memorable...so so memorable. This place is timeless. It hasn't changed. It's been enhanced. It continues to enhance and expand its breathtaking beauty. <----Do you think I'm exaggerating? This is all an understatement.
I don't care what you believe, where your faith lies...the Grotto is well worth your travel. Especially the upper level...it doesn't matter how many people there are....you will always feel like you were meant to go on the day that you're there with purpose and peaceful feeling...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
and on a side note, there's an awesome place for dessert and dinner. ;-) Papa Haydn is the place to be. :-D
It didn't occur to me that it had been well over 14 years since I was last there, but each time you go it's a visit you can never forget. Every part of this place...so breathtaking, warm, welcoming, meditative, peaceful...all of the above that is good! And memorable...so so memorable. This place is timeless. It hasn't changed. It's been enhanced. It continues to enhance and expand its breathtaking beauty. <----Do you think I'm exaggerating? This is all an understatement.
I don't care what you believe, where your faith lies...the Grotto is well worth your travel. Especially the upper level...it doesn't matter how many people there are....you will always feel like you were meant to go on the day that you're there with purpose and peaceful feeling...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
and on a side note, there's an awesome place for dessert and dinner. ;-) Papa Haydn is the place to be. :-D
Friday, May 8, 2009
Quote
Taken from Deanna. :-)
You see things; and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw
I dig it. :-P
You see things; and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw
I dig it. :-P
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I Will Smile Today :-)
Hello, friends. I'm happy people I care about read this and check up...I feel the love. ;-)
Rough nights are difficult to recover from. Situations which challenge oneself to fight for the chance to smile. ~It's hard, but it's not impossible.
If you can think outside of the box you end up being trapped in, there is *always* a way out to smile once again.
Love. It's a beautiful and powerful thing. What one invests in it...can be worth a great deal of wonderful life lessons learned. And creates the strongest of memories which shapes and develops who you are...who you can become...who you want to be.
Practicing love makes one flourish. Love others. Love thyself. Love Him. Express love in each and every way you know how. Like I always say...if you invest faith it what it can do for you and for others, it truly can be a beautiful thing.
...oh look! I'm smiling. :-D...
Rough nights are difficult to recover from. Situations which challenge oneself to fight for the chance to smile. ~It's hard, but it's not impossible.
If you can think outside of the box you end up being trapped in, there is *always* a way out to smile once again.
Love. It's a beautiful and powerful thing. What one invests in it...can be worth a great deal of wonderful life lessons learned. And creates the strongest of memories which shapes and develops who you are...who you can become...who you want to be.
Practicing love makes one flourish. Love others. Love thyself. Love Him. Express love in each and every way you know how. Like I always say...if you invest faith it what it can do for you and for others, it truly can be a beautiful thing.
...oh look! I'm smiling. :-D...
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Rekindling Friendships
I'm so thankful for this point in my life. Reuniting with friends and developing more with the acquaintances from long ago. It's very much needed in my life where much was lacking. These new bonds...it's such a wonderful feeling.
I'm excited for the journey and new path I am taking. :-) And I am truly looking forward to what is to come.
Today is going to be a fabulous and memorable day. :-) I can't wait!
I miss you all. And "hello" to the new. :-)
I'm excited for the journey and new path I am taking. :-) And I am truly looking forward to what is to come.
Today is going to be a fabulous and memorable day. :-) I can't wait!
I miss you all. And "hello" to the new. :-)
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Love
I *love* love. Hate is not my style.
Love matches my eyes better, *and* it goes with my outfit. ;-)
Love matches my eyes better, *and* it goes with my outfit. ;-)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Diary entry: Disappointed, but not surprised. And it's ok.
To claim to wanting a future. To say one dreams of grasping the ideal euphoric state of mind. And yet...
Kills the future they claim to want with speaking and blasting out the wounds into the public eye with such intricate detail again and again...continuing to go about without thinking of the consequence!!...which is loss...As if nothing was learned from the times before...where the action killed the dream because the thought of loss was not at heart. The only thought that came to mind was revenge. Release. Stress-relief by any means necessary. Where is the growth?
To hurt someone in the public eye time and time again...especially when this is to people that you claim to hold dear to your soul...that eventually, will intermix with everyone around you and the one you love will be presented to them...but the one you love is the one you announce as your downfall in life? And you share with the world the reasons why? Question: Is this one of the times where the good no longer exists unless you're carrying it in your hand the entire time?
And in ANY of this! Is this what love is? Don't claim what you *think* you see is comparable to what is real. What you think is not me. What you vent is not what you see. Your thoughts do not mirror what you face. It has been and still is safe to say that what you assume is not what is real. If anything...you're a depiction of my past and I'm a glimpse of what future could be like when one chooses to think of the consequences before they speak and throw, but nothing more. How you act versus what you claim of me? I'm sorry...but they're not one in the same. I still smile when I think of the future. I still smile when I hold onto parts of my past. When I think of the now? It's when I must turn away because it gives an upsetting frown of disappointment.
I'm not mad. I'm not shaken. If we were to be similar to any emotion, it would be numbness. I'm numb of the present. But this is good because it gets me that much closer to the future. :-) Thank you. However it takes for you to get there does affect tomorrow, but it lets me go for now with a peace of mind...thank you for giving me more reason to walk...with a smile towards the future.
Kills the future they claim to want with speaking and blasting out the wounds into the public eye with such intricate detail again and again...continuing to go about without thinking of the consequence!!...which is loss...As if nothing was learned from the times before...where the action killed the dream because the thought of loss was not at heart. The only thought that came to mind was revenge. Release. Stress-relief by any means necessary. Where is the growth?
To hurt someone in the public eye time and time again...especially when this is to people that you claim to hold dear to your soul...that eventually, will intermix with everyone around you and the one you love will be presented to them...but the one you love is the one you announce as your downfall in life? And you share with the world the reasons why? Question: Is this one of the times where the good no longer exists unless you're carrying it in your hand the entire time?
And in ANY of this! Is this what love is? Don't claim what you *think* you see is comparable to what is real. What you think is not me. What you vent is not what you see. Your thoughts do not mirror what you face. It has been and still is safe to say that what you assume is not what is real. If anything...you're a depiction of my past and I'm a glimpse of what future could be like when one chooses to think of the consequences before they speak and throw, but nothing more. How you act versus what you claim of me? I'm sorry...but they're not one in the same. I still smile when I think of the future. I still smile when I hold onto parts of my past. When I think of the now? It's when I must turn away because it gives an upsetting frown of disappointment.
I'm not mad. I'm not shaken. If we were to be similar to any emotion, it would be numbness. I'm numb of the present. But this is good because it gets me that much closer to the future. :-) Thank you. However it takes for you to get there does affect tomorrow, but it lets me go for now with a peace of mind...thank you for giving me more reason to walk...with a smile towards the future.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Freelance Smile
**I had a very blessed week.**
I was reminded of what it takes to smile and how easy it is to attain.
All I had to do was open my eyes and reach for what is in front of me
...a dream for a true tomorrow. A beautiful euphoric reality.
Dark clouds may come my way, and it's only natural for challenges to appear.
For this ground I walk on is nothing more than earth.
-Hardships. Negative encounters made potentially for me to falter.
...but the light is becoming much brighter now.
This warm, bright, comforting, and consoling light.
This light is breaking down the barriers of the treacherous fog.
These attempts of lightning bolts and ferocity wanting to strike...
...this light calms it all.
You are my clear, bright, and warm light.
You make me smile.
And I'm thankful more and more each day that this is becoming within my reach.
I've prayed long and hard for this moment.
And here you are...my parallel. My mirror.
An untouchable fantasy, becoming flesh.
I pause for a moment. Close my eyes, turn my head away from the darkness that follows behind me.
I have opened my eyes. Your light is not blinding.
This warmth...it brightens and forms my smile.
I thank you for my new goal.
...to be your light.
I was reminded of what it takes to smile and how easy it is to attain.
All I had to do was open my eyes and reach for what is in front of me
...a dream for a true tomorrow. A beautiful euphoric reality.
Dark clouds may come my way, and it's only natural for challenges to appear.
For this ground I walk on is nothing more than earth.
-Hardships. Negative encounters made potentially for me to falter.
...but the light is becoming much brighter now.
This warm, bright, comforting, and consoling light.
This light is breaking down the barriers of the treacherous fog.
These attempts of lightning bolts and ferocity wanting to strike...
...this light calms it all.
You are my clear, bright, and warm light.
You make me smile.
And I'm thankful more and more each day that this is becoming within my reach.
I've prayed long and hard for this moment.
And here you are...my parallel. My mirror.
An untouchable fantasy, becoming flesh.
I pause for a moment. Close my eyes, turn my head away from the darkness that follows behind me.
I have opened my eyes. Your light is not blinding.
This warmth...it brightens and forms my smile.
I thank you for my new goal.
...to be your light.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Happy Easter!
Hi all :-) Happy Easter to you all. :-)
My weekend was very eventful and spiritually filled. :-) Slightly exhausting, (needed to take a few cat naps), but everything went really well from Good Friday and on. :-) It was a very moving and meaningful weekend.
I hope the beginning of your Easter season went well too!
Just a brief "Hi" :-)
Take care!
My weekend was very eventful and spiritually filled. :-) Slightly exhausting, (needed to take a few cat naps), but everything went really well from Good Friday and on. :-) It was a very moving and meaningful weekend.
I hope the beginning of your Easter season went well too!
Just a brief "Hi" :-)
Take care!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Miracle!!!
This is a little late to share, but I want to share it anyway!
For *weeks* I have been coughing up a lung...since...the weekend of March 14th?
Anyway, last week was probably at its worst. I lost my voice! I was squealing and squeaking...for those who remember my 21st birthday, that was the last time it was ever *that* bad.
Last Sunday was Palm Sunday. My most favorite day of the Lenten season. It was the first Sunday going back to my church to sing and my voice was completely *shot* the night before! I prayed to Him...please please *PLEASE* let me sing with the congregation.
...that morning? Voice was BACK in full effect. :-D yayyyyy! The mass went *SO* well! AND it was a sunny day, went to the beach...good times good times. :-)
But now my cough is back. :-( So for that one day, I thank Him a million times over. :-)
The end!...for now ;-)
-OH WAIT! and yesterday I took a walk on the waterfront, saw a little ducky dive in the water. Very cute. Just thought I would share :-D hehe
For *weeks* I have been coughing up a lung...since...the weekend of March 14th?
Anyway, last week was probably at its worst. I lost my voice! I was squealing and squeaking...for those who remember my 21st birthday, that was the last time it was ever *that* bad.
Last Sunday was Palm Sunday. My most favorite day of the Lenten season. It was the first Sunday going back to my church to sing and my voice was completely *shot* the night before! I prayed to Him...please please *PLEASE* let me sing with the congregation.
...that morning? Voice was BACK in full effect. :-D yayyyyy! The mass went *SO* well! AND it was a sunny day, went to the beach...good times good times. :-)
But now my cough is back. :-( So for that one day, I thank Him a million times over. :-)
The end!...for now ;-)
-OH WAIT! and yesterday I took a walk on the waterfront, saw a little ducky dive in the water. Very cute. Just thought I would share :-D hehe
Monday, March 30, 2009
Random Spiritual Thought
Prayer is the tool to utilizing faith. Continuing to pray and having conversations with the Lord is to solve, resolve, and release thoughts clouding the mind and heart, as well as practicing a way of giving praise and thanksgiving for the beautiful moments one encounters because of Him.
But to push forward! To continue to walk on rather than retreat back! We must practice what He tells us in these conversations we have with Him. Only then can we come to full circle and truly understand the benefits of having genuine faith in ourselves and others. Having pure and true love for ourselves and for others...
...so that our own selfish and personal conflicts may leave our bodies...that they will be lifted from ourselves and given to the One who is truly meant to handle them.
And *why* has He promised this to us? Because if we continue to rely solely on ourselves and choose to stay clouded, we remain stagnant. How will we ever be able to help others in need if we refuse to help ourselves?
Prayer is only one part. Petition is a strong, yet mere tool. We must have faith in the faith that we claim to keep. Act on the answers given to us. Only then are we blessed with the opportunity to genuinely smile. And in turn, begin to get the glimpse of the open door we will soon be able to walk through.
But to push forward! To continue to walk on rather than retreat back! We must practice what He tells us in these conversations we have with Him. Only then can we come to full circle and truly understand the benefits of having genuine faith in ourselves and others. Having pure and true love for ourselves and for others...
...so that our own selfish and personal conflicts may leave our bodies...that they will be lifted from ourselves and given to the One who is truly meant to handle them.
And *why* has He promised this to us? Because if we continue to rely solely on ourselves and choose to stay clouded, we remain stagnant. How will we ever be able to help others in need if we refuse to help ourselves?
Prayer is only one part. Petition is a strong, yet mere tool. We must have faith in the faith that we claim to keep. Act on the answers given to us. Only then are we blessed with the opportunity to genuinely smile. And in turn, begin to get the glimpse of the open door we will soon be able to walk through.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Last night in NY
Spring break is coming to a close.
What I've learned over this trip:
*I am no longer allowed to drink in fancy places.
*Grays Papaya is still the #1 bomb diggitiest hot dog ever!
*Always check that your sunglasses are on your head.
*The Nutty Pot makes you ooze things out of "spouts" you just *DON'T* want to see. (don't try this at home, folks.)
*Make sure the dog's butt is AWAY from you.
*OH!!! Last but not least...Best conversation of the week: "She's such a Honky Mama!"..."A what!?"..."Oh...that didn't sound right, did it!?"
YAY!! And scene. Thanks siblings for a great time in NY! :-) Until next time. :-)
Back to TacTown! :-D What it is. :-P
Bye bye!
What I've learned over this trip:
*I am no longer allowed to drink in fancy places.
*Grays Papaya is still the #1 bomb diggitiest hot dog ever!
*Always check that your sunglasses are on your head.
*The Nutty Pot makes you ooze things out of "spouts" you just *DON'T* want to see. (don't try this at home, folks.)
*Make sure the dog's butt is AWAY from you.
*OH!!! Last but not least...Best conversation of the week: "She's such a Honky Mama!"..."A what!?"..."Oh...that didn't sound right, did it!?"
YAY!! And scene. Thanks siblings for a great time in NY! :-) Until next time. :-)
Back to TacTown! :-D What it is. :-P
Bye bye!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Days 1 and 2 of NY
We arrived Sunday morning over here in NY. :-) Yesterday was Pia's day of birth, good times good times! :-) We went to a very awesome restaurant and had fun sibling times. :-) Yay french food!
Today was catching up on sleep day. Had come lunch at Cosi's, then went over to Toni and Matt's new place in Queens.
Tomorrow is shopping day with Pia and my Kuya Jay's play, "The New Hopeville Comics!" Good times!
Hope you're having a good time wherever you are. :-)
Take care!
Today was catching up on sleep day. Had come lunch at Cosi's, then went over to Toni and Matt's new place in Queens.
Tomorrow is shopping day with Pia and my Kuya Jay's play, "The New Hopeville Comics!" Good times!
Hope you're having a good time wherever you are. :-)
Take care!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
New York
Hey kids!
Saturday night is not that far away...I'm heading over to New York to spend time with the siblings and friends! :-) I am looking forward to it. :-)
Now...if only I could get over this sudden icky phlegmy cough. I've lost my voice. It's all squeaky like Phoebe from Friends. "My stinky stinky shoes!"
Just to let my siblings know...most of my week is going to be a lot of studying during the downtime. :-( Help me be on top of it pleeease? I have a LOT to cover for the following week. :-( (OH!! And TONING!! You're part of my English project! Details later :-D Will you help me with it? Okay thanks! :-D LUBBBOOOO!)
This week was very challenging. Most of you know that these past few weeks have been very challenging. But after visiting BLD last weekend...I realized that support is around me. Even if it's far away, there's love. :-) Thanks for the love. :-) Thanks for the support. You're all so good to me. I hope I do the same for you...and if I don't, kick me in the ass. :-P
Okie...that's all for now! :-) Will update again soon. :-)
~me
Saturday night is not that far away...I'm heading over to New York to spend time with the siblings and friends! :-) I am looking forward to it. :-)
Now...if only I could get over this sudden icky phlegmy cough. I've lost my voice. It's all squeaky like Phoebe from Friends. "My stinky stinky shoes!"
Just to let my siblings know...most of my week is going to be a lot of studying during the downtime. :-( Help me be on top of it pleeease? I have a LOT to cover for the following week. :-( (OH!! And TONING!! You're part of my English project! Details later :-D Will you help me with it? Okay thanks! :-D LUBBBOOOO!)
This week was very challenging. Most of you know that these past few weeks have been very challenging. But after visiting BLD last weekend...I realized that support is around me. Even if it's far away, there's love. :-) Thanks for the love. :-) Thanks for the support. You're all so good to me. I hope I do the same for you...and if I don't, kick me in the ass. :-P
Okie...that's all for now! :-) Will update again soon. :-)
~me
Friday, March 13, 2009
Life in the Spirit Seminar
This weekend I'll be helping out on a retreat. Seeing people I haven't seen in a million years. Reuniting with old friends...taking a weekend outside of Tacoma for the first time in a long while.
I am stoked! :-) It's going to be good times. :-)
I am stoked! :-) It's going to be good times. :-)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Quick "Hi!"
Hello all. :-)
Sorry for the worry in the previous post. I just needed to let out steam. I'm better now. And I will be. :-)
I just wanted to say a quick "hi" to my friends. Hi friends! Will post more eventful fun things to read soon.
Take care all :-)
Sorry for the worry in the previous post. I just needed to let out steam. I'm better now. And I will be. :-)
I just wanted to say a quick "hi" to my friends. Hi friends! Will post more eventful fun things to read soon.
Take care all :-)
Friday, March 6, 2009
On the Verge
::venting::
Do you ever feel like giving up and saying, "Screw it. Damn it all to hell!" Well...
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself.
And scene.
I need a drink.
School. Sucks. Big. FAT. Bum. (and a half.)
Do you ever feel like giving up and saying, "Screw it. Damn it all to hell!" Well...
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself.
And scene.
I need a drink.
School. Sucks. Big. FAT. Bum. (and a half.)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Revamped!
Brand new mattress just came in! Whoo! I feel like such a grown-up! :-D
It's SUPER HUGE...I'm scared to sleep on it. I may fall off. Probably need a step ladder like my mom to climb up on it.
Decorated my balcony. I put a little metal leaf decor on the railing that holds tea light candles. :-) And a black pot-like tube thing that holds big candles and shines out cool patterns. :-) (trying to save money to buy another one)
Hmm...what else. I need to fix my devil of a couch. It's like quicksand now. :-( Every time someone sits on it, another spring breaks through.
Most of the electronics are gone. Thinking about moving the computer to the bedroom to make my living room an *actual* living room, but we'll see.
-That's pretty much it! Beginning to feel fresh. Renewed. :-)
...A little empty still...
But this is just the beginning. Looking forward to finding out what's in store for me next. :-) Laundry? (eeew.)
It's SUPER HUGE...I'm scared to sleep on it. I may fall off. Probably need a step ladder like my mom to climb up on it.
Decorated my balcony. I put a little metal leaf decor on the railing that holds tea light candles. :-) And a black pot-like tube thing that holds big candles and shines out cool patterns. :-) (trying to save money to buy another one)
Hmm...what else. I need to fix my devil of a couch. It's like quicksand now. :-( Every time someone sits on it, another spring breaks through.
Most of the electronics are gone. Thinking about moving the computer to the bedroom to make my living room an *actual* living room, but we'll see.
-That's pretty much it! Beginning to feel fresh. Renewed. :-)
...A little empty still...
But this is just the beginning. Looking forward to finding out what's in store for me next. :-) Laundry? (eeew.)
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Doughnuts
Never leave me alone with a doughnut. Never leave me alone with 4 doughnuts...it just leads to disaster. Just wanted to share that I had my first "set" of Krispy Kreme doughnuts for the first time in what...4-6 years? And I ate 4 in one sitting and several hours prior to that I ate...what...1.5 to 2 more doughnuts? Sheesh. Stomach is *so* *NOT* happy right now.
Last night I spent time with really great company. It's difficult to keep in touch with those far away from me...and now majority of the people I confide in have moved away. Times have been lonely lately. Sooo...yes. All by my lonesome. :-( --Don't get me wrong! I enjoy time to myself. :-) I'm entertained by anything, even twiddling my thumbs. Seriously! I'll spin my thumbs around and think, "ooh! fun!" (no lie. :-P lol It doesn't take much to please me. :-)) But it made me realize how much all of us are up and about beginning to do our own things, growing up and all of that jazz. But for those who have time off from their 9-5, holler at me!
...Doo dee doo...so what are y'all up to? Can I come? :-P
~me
PS
I'm looking forward to spending time with the siblings in New York though! :-D YAY 3 more weeks! Rock on!
Last night I spent time with really great company. It's difficult to keep in touch with those far away from me...and now majority of the people I confide in have moved away. Times have been lonely lately. Sooo...yes. All by my lonesome. :-( --Don't get me wrong! I enjoy time to myself. :-) I'm entertained by anything, even twiddling my thumbs. Seriously! I'll spin my thumbs around and think, "ooh! fun!" (no lie. :-P lol It doesn't take much to please me. :-)) But it made me realize how much all of us are up and about beginning to do our own things, growing up and all of that jazz. But for those who have time off from their 9-5, holler at me!
...Doo dee doo...so what are y'all up to? Can I come? :-P
~me
PS
I'm looking forward to spending time with the siblings in New York though! :-D YAY 3 more weeks! Rock on!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Ash Wednesday
For the first time in *years* I went to Ash Wednesday mass. It was a great feeling. :-) I forget how wonderful of a feeling it is to just *go* to church. Performing every Sunday is a blessing in itself, but going just to go...it's nice to be in a place where you're with others who are sharing a simple purpose: to reflect on your relationship with God and others.
One of the versus in the Gospel caught my attention. It was from the book of Matthew, but don't ask me what the verse is because I wouldn't know what to tell you. :-P I just remember the message of that verse was to not *look* and *act* like you are starving. Wash your face, clean yourself up, and smile. Because the only one you are fasting and sacrificing for is God; the others shouldn't see any sign of struggle. If they *do*...if you continue to complain about your trials to them and not to God...what is to become of it? How would you fully heal? How can you set an example for others if you're incapable of showing that you *can* overcome difficulties in your life?
What I appreciate most about Ash Wednesday are the actual ashes you receive on your forehead. :-) "From dust you were created and from dust you shall return." I dig that. You leave this place...go about your daily routine and to see others with the cross on their forehead...it puts a smile on my face. It's one of the many ways of showing the devotion to their faith, and even moreso, it shows they're about to take on a 40 day journey to fine-tune their relationship with Him for life. Good times...good times. :-)
--------------------------------------------
In other news! I just got the most bomb diggity mattress on the planet! :-D (Thanks, Pia for talking with Mom! :-D) YAY! No more creaking back pain! OhmiGAH I can't wait. :-D And eventually...awesome bedding for the very awesome bed. :-) Sigh...it puts a smile on my face and relief on my spine.
--------------------------------------------
Now...what to do with the futon that has the hugest divot on the planet. Yeah...cheap furniture? Only means MORE cheap furniture...and the end result? Not so cheap!! Stupid broken pieces of shhhhh....anyway.
One of the versus in the Gospel caught my attention. It was from the book of Matthew, but don't ask me what the verse is because I wouldn't know what to tell you. :-P I just remember the message of that verse was to not *look* and *act* like you are starving. Wash your face, clean yourself up, and smile. Because the only one you are fasting and sacrificing for is God; the others shouldn't see any sign of struggle. If they *do*...if you continue to complain about your trials to them and not to God...what is to become of it? How would you fully heal? How can you set an example for others if you're incapable of showing that you *can* overcome difficulties in your life?
What I appreciate most about Ash Wednesday are the actual ashes you receive on your forehead. :-) "From dust you were created and from dust you shall return." I dig that. You leave this place...go about your daily routine and to see others with the cross on their forehead...it puts a smile on my face. It's one of the many ways of showing the devotion to their faith, and even moreso, it shows they're about to take on a 40 day journey to fine-tune their relationship with Him for life. Good times...good times. :-)
--------------------------------------------
In other news! I just got the most bomb diggity mattress on the planet! :-D (Thanks, Pia for talking with Mom! :-D) YAY! No more creaking back pain! OhmiGAH I can't wait. :-D And eventually...awesome bedding for the very awesome bed. :-) Sigh...it puts a smile on my face and relief on my spine.
--------------------------------------------
Now...what to do with the futon that has the hugest divot on the planet. Yeah...cheap furniture? Only means MORE cheap furniture...and the end result? Not so cheap!! Stupid broken pieces of shhhhh....anyway.
Insecurities Exposed
I am aware of my flaws. I have many. I have many insecurities...it just didn't occur to me how blatantly aware others are of them. And how much it affects them!
Because of this, I am going to add another piece to my practice of the Lenten Season. It is a broad summary of everything listed below, but it will be my main focus: minimizing my imperfections.
I'm a mess inside and out. It's time to clean it up, so that the good will hopefully outweigh the bad.
No longer selfishly defending and reasoning my way out of what I *know* has healthier alternatives I normally choose to avoid.
Welcoming Ash Wednesday. Welcoming the Lenten Season. Ready to rejuvenate and have my main focal point in everything I attempt to do be in service for the Lord.
Because of this, I am going to add another piece to my practice of the Lenten Season. It is a broad summary of everything listed below, but it will be my main focus: minimizing my imperfections.
I'm a mess inside and out. It's time to clean it up, so that the good will hopefully outweigh the bad.
No longer selfishly defending and reasoning my way out of what I *know* has healthier alternatives I normally choose to avoid.
Welcoming Ash Wednesday. Welcoming the Lenten Season. Ready to rejuvenate and have my main focal point in everything I attempt to do be in service for the Lord.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Lent 2009
These 40 days of Lent coming up...I am going to take the time to learn a lot about myself. To be a better person for family, friends, loved ones, and most importantly, for the Lord.
-----------------------------------
*Learning how to be independent. How to take care of myself first and foremost so I can be there for others at my best. I can't help others if I can't help myself.
*I haven't been taking care of my body as well as I should, so I'm going to get back into the swing of that. (Starting off with no processed snacks...lol we'll see how that goes. Goshdern Quaker snack bars)
*Keeping on the top of my game with studies.
*Being prompt (HAH...no, seriously.)
*Praying everyday. But not for me. I need to learn to pray selfless prayers consistently. For all those who support me and for those who need support.
*I want to stop being vulgar. It's so ugly.
*Cleanliness...inside and out. Maintaining my surroundings on the outside so that I'm in a good environment where I will be motivated to be better on the inside.
*Checking up on the people who always check up on me. Trying hard to organize my time well so that I keep the bonds strong.
-----------------------------------
These will be the focus of my 40 days. It's going to be difficult...especially with the recent changes I need to adapt to. :-( But I'm looking forward to it because it will make it that much better for my future and the future of my relationships with others. :-)
-----------------------------------
*Learning how to be independent. How to take care of myself first and foremost so I can be there for others at my best. I can't help others if I can't help myself.
*I haven't been taking care of my body as well as I should, so I'm going to get back into the swing of that. (Starting off with no processed snacks...lol we'll see how that goes. Goshdern Quaker snack bars)
*Keeping on the top of my game with studies.
*Being prompt (HAH...no, seriously.)
*Praying everyday. But not for me. I need to learn to pray selfless prayers consistently. For all those who support me and for those who need support.
*I want to stop being vulgar. It's so ugly.
*Cleanliness...inside and out. Maintaining my surroundings on the outside so that I'm in a good environment where I will be motivated to be better on the inside.
*Checking up on the people who always check up on me. Trying hard to organize my time well so that I keep the bonds strong.
-----------------------------------
These will be the focus of my 40 days. It's going to be difficult...especially with the recent changes I need to adapt to. :-( But I'm looking forward to it because it will make it that much better for my future and the future of my relationships with others. :-)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Late Nights
Ever since I was little I was never able to sleep well until *extremely* late at night. I don't know why. But lately it's been getting REALLY bad. Even after I have an exhausting day, I usually end up in bed at about 4am, if at all. I can feel my body deteriorating. :-( Not good, kids. Don't try this at home.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Update
I know it's been a while, so here's an update on what's been going down as of late.
I left PLU (Pacific Lutheran University for the cuzzos who don't know :-P) for a little bit back in 2006. I needed to step back, take a breather. I went to Pierce Community College for a couple of years and now I'm back at PLU as of Fall 2008! Wheee! :-D It's been challenging, stressful, yet successful! All is well...I pray to God I graduate Spring 2010. I'm majoring in English/Writing and minoring in Music. Good times, good times. :-)
...It's a little weird. I feel a little old at times, just because the familiar faces...even some of the places have left and gone. :-( But I'm in a good place now.
I was actually taking on this internship for a while with New York Life as well. I had been working with them since August 2008...but something in my heart compelled me to stop. It was too distracting for my studies and it just added unnecessary stress, so I shelved it...for now.
I was working at Bath and Body Works for two years...left the place. It just wasn't the same! I only started working there to get to know people, have a little fun with a little discount. ;-) Well, I made enough use out of my discount, I made my friends...and scene. :-P
My life has literally been school and church. Church and school. I've still been very active with singing and playing the piano. (My parents even got me a new toy for my 24th! Yay piano! :-D)
What else...oh! Lost 70ish pounds! But you already knew that...:-P
I just wanted to catch everyone up to speed. :-)
I left PLU (Pacific Lutheran University for the cuzzos who don't know :-P) for a little bit back in 2006. I needed to step back, take a breather. I went to Pierce Community College for a couple of years and now I'm back at PLU as of Fall 2008! Wheee! :-D It's been challenging, stressful, yet successful! All is well...I pray to God I graduate Spring 2010. I'm majoring in English/Writing and minoring in Music. Good times, good times. :-)
...It's a little weird. I feel a little old at times, just because the familiar faces...even some of the places have left and gone. :-( But I'm in a good place now.
I was actually taking on this internship for a while with New York Life as well. I had been working with them since August 2008...but something in my heart compelled me to stop. It was too distracting for my studies and it just added unnecessary stress, so I shelved it...for now.
I was working at Bath and Body Works for two years...left the place. It just wasn't the same! I only started working there to get to know people, have a little fun with a little discount. ;-) Well, I made enough use out of my discount, I made my friends...and scene. :-P
My life has literally been school and church. Church and school. I've still been very active with singing and playing the piano. (My parents even got me a new toy for my 24th! Yay piano! :-D)
What else...oh! Lost 70ish pounds! But you already knew that...:-P
I just wanted to catch everyone up to speed. :-)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Back in Full Effect
Oh blogging. (<---reminds me of the word, "blugh." Anyway!)
I miss having a place where I can share my thoughts with those I love. Something everyone can access with the click of a button. Places like MySpace and Facebook are too cluttered for me, that's why I had always kept my Xanga and LiveJournal running separately...a simple, direct link into my thoughts.
It's been a year now since those sites were set on lock-down. I had them removed because I was tactless and tasteless in the way I conveyed my last set of thoughts. I don't even remember exactly what I was fuming about, but I do remember that it hurt people, especially my sisters whom I love the most.
I know this is long overdue, and we've moved forward since then, but I apologize to my sisters, (especially Toni) for all the grief I had caused because of my online journal entries. I love you more than you will ever know. I look up to you and Pia, honest to all goodness. You're my big sisters! I pray to God that I will keep on trying my damned hardest to never again jeopardize our relationships as I have in the past. I'm still learning, but know that I will love you forever and always. (No, I am *not* being cheese. I am *so* for serious and more.)
I also apologize to everyone else I offended with the things I've typed in the past. For those who ever read my cryptic entries and thought to themselves, "What the hell...is she typing about me? What does she mean?" Sorry for making you think the worst. :-(
So after all of that hell and a half, why create another one?! Well, why does *anyone* do these damned things? I have been EXTREMELY blessed to have many in my life care about me and my well-being. Thank you. This is for me AND for you. Everyone has moments in their day where they encounter something that makes them think to themselves, "I know who would appreciate this," or "I want to share this with my friends." ...Well!?
This is why I'm baffled at you all sometimes. I am a piece of shit when it comes to keeping in touch, and yet...you're still in my life. I'm still working on it, damnit! But one thing I kept consistent was updating you through things like these, right? So here it is, yet again. Christina's journal entries are back in full effect. I *swear* to you I will be truthful in the most respectful way, expressing feelings so that it can be the stepping stone for us to become closer.
Thanks for reading my first entry. :-) Next begins the nitty gritty...dun dun dun!
I miss having a place where I can share my thoughts with those I love. Something everyone can access with the click of a button. Places like MySpace and Facebook are too cluttered for me, that's why I had always kept my Xanga and LiveJournal running separately...a simple, direct link into my thoughts.
It's been a year now since those sites were set on lock-down. I had them removed because I was tactless and tasteless in the way I conveyed my last set of thoughts. I don't even remember exactly what I was fuming about, but I do remember that it hurt people, especially my sisters whom I love the most.
I know this is long overdue, and we've moved forward since then, but I apologize to my sisters, (especially Toni) for all the grief I had caused because of my online journal entries. I love you more than you will ever know. I look up to you and Pia, honest to all goodness. You're my big sisters! I pray to God that I will keep on trying my damned hardest to never again jeopardize our relationships as I have in the past. I'm still learning, but know that I will love you forever and always. (No, I am *not* being cheese. I am *so* for serious and more.)
I also apologize to everyone else I offended with the things I've typed in the past. For those who ever read my cryptic entries and thought to themselves, "What the hell...is she typing about me? What does she mean?" Sorry for making you think the worst. :-(
So after all of that hell and a half, why create another one?! Well, why does *anyone* do these damned things? I have been EXTREMELY blessed to have many in my life care about me and my well-being. Thank you. This is for me AND for you. Everyone has moments in their day where they encounter something that makes them think to themselves, "I know who would appreciate this," or "I want to share this with my friends." ...Well!?
This is why I'm baffled at you all sometimes. I am a piece of shit when it comes to keeping in touch, and yet...you're still in my life. I'm still working on it, damnit! But one thing I kept consistent was updating you through things like these, right? So here it is, yet again. Christina's journal entries are back in full effect. I *swear* to you I will be truthful in the most respectful way, expressing feelings so that it can be the stepping stone for us to become closer.
Thanks for reading my first entry. :-) Next begins the nitty gritty...dun dun dun!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
